Do You Really Need a Reason?

Posted by on January 18, 2014


The beautiful thing about reason, you can use it to your advantage to justify just about anything.

Last week my husband Phil decided to fly across the other side of the country to buy a muscle car. His reasoning… it’s an investment! Not that I’m complaining, I get it, we all do irrational things and then build up a case as to why it was a great idea. I’m certainly not condemning this, in fact I’m sure Phil actually thinks I invented the concept! I think its a beautiful thing and I smile to myself whenever I see it. Ain’t the human mind great!

One thing that did puzzle me was his facebook post. Him smiling like a cheshire cat in front of his new ride, and at the end of his post “and thanks to my wife Donna for letting me do it”. My initial thought was “let you??”. Hmm. Nobody “lets” him do things, he generally sees what he wants and goes after it. Now the same is true for me. We just have an understanding that we step out of the way if the other one is pursuing a dream.

Now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, our relationship is not all roses. You show me a couple that claims there relationship is and I’ll show you 2 people that are completely deluded still in the honeymoon phase or comfortable lying to your face (If this happens before a poker game, don’t bet big!) You place two strong minded people under one roof and you are bound to get some friction every day from time to time. However isn’t that how diamonds are made? Constant friction and pressure, at this rate by the end of our lives we are in line for a massive rock. Pay dirt!

Another irrational thing I see (in my perception anyway) is people just before they get divorced or separated. Have you noticed that they often live a boring life, may have let themselves go etc etc. Then hey presto! The second that separation is in motion they start working out, going out, trying new things…. I scratch my head and think, well now you’re kinda interesting, why didnt you just do that in the first place? Perhaps you and your ex may have loved the exciting and more genuine you?

If I appear to be burning the candle both ends, its just me staying interesting for the sake of my relationship. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!

If you are one of those people blaming your partner for your shitty life, it might be time to take a look at yourself and what you want. As my sister said to my niece before sending her into the playground “If you want friends you have to be friendly.” Simple, yet solid advice.

If you want an interesting and fulfilling life (not the one you’re bored with) you have to be interesting and find what fulfils you! So before you take that plunge and call it quits, (because lets face it, separation is expensive and a big hassle). Take the time to ask what you want out of life, not just the relationship, then go for it!

If you are close to that point anyway, you don’t have much to loose.

The moral of this story? Live a life that’s on purpose, that brings YOU fulfilment. If you don’t know what that is, you owe it to yourself and those around you to ask the question. Hint; the answer is inside, not outside you.

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Posted in: Well Being